Thursday, May 7, 2009

A New day....

I noticed when looking over my previous entries that it was full of so many negative thing's , A lot of complaining.
If "The boy" knew what I was writing about him here I am sure he would be upset. Beside, all the negative thing's that I have been writing about, good thing's also happen!
"The Boy" Felt bad about yesterday morning, and today we got in the car and drove to Shoal Haven Heads. We didn't plan it, He woke up and said he wanted to go for breakfast some-where, so we got in the car and started driving , we were going to go to Bronte, but on the way we started talking about the freedom you feel when you are young, and enjoying the simple things in life. Its easy to get caught up with all the responsibilities that life brings ."The Boy" has more trouble than me ,with accepting that life is full of responsibilities. I said to him, wouldn't it be good if could just keep driving. He than said great idea, lets just go for a drive. I was hesitant and started thinking about our job's. For him he does a lot of freelance work so its a bit easier for him to take time off.
He convinced me though, reminding me that in a few weeks time we will probably have to plan even the smallest thing's like going shopping or going to the bank.
"The Boy" Was right, he is full of surprises, I can be so upset and angry with him one day and than the next day he helps me forget what happened the day before!
The car ride gave us time to talk about thing's, and he apologised letting me know that he is still getting used to the fact that he will be a Dad soon. I can understand that, the baby wasn't planned and to be truthful if it wasn't for the baby I don't think we would be together now.
But, the baby did come, the little thing turned my life upside down! I am not regretful though, I can't wait to bring it in to the world, to me every-thing happens for a reason, and I am a firm believer in destiny and karma - the passing of karma from a previous life in to the new.
I had hoped that "The Man" was going to play a bigger role in my life, as fate had it, that wasn't the case, I do know that "The Man" was around to support me when I most needed it, and I guess that was his role, or at least our role, to support each other until it wasn't needed anymore.
Back to today, So when we arrived in Shoal Haven we bought some fish and chips and tomato sauce and went down by the beach, we ate, and laughed ,walked along the beach and built sandcastles. It was pretty good to spend some time with him. Some-times its as though we lead two different lives so when we get time together, its like reconnecting. And it was good to experience some time with him. I am curious to see how much our life is going to change when the baby comes, and whether it will soften "The Boy" and help him focus and realise what he can have with us, or the life we could create, if he just takes control of the drugs and partying.
I see his potential, he just needs to see it, its just getting him to see it that's the problem. :)

1 comment:

  1. Hello dear, it made me so happy to read that u had a good time, The boy, well I hope with time he will understand all these things that u want him to be and the things he has potential to be and do... take care honey and try to stay happy as much as u can.

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