Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Learning to breathe

Do you think that when we are born we come in to the world knowing what life has in store for us ? Having some-one inside of me I wonder about things like that. I wonder why this little person has come to me. Especially, under the circumstances. I get upset about it some-times, I know its a horrible thing to get upset about some-thing so beautiful and someone so innocent, but I miss "the Man" So much, Talking to him, we could say anything to each other and speak so openly. I had never had that before him. What is more annoying is I will never truely know, if the feeling's that I felt were genuine.
"The boy" Was alway's in the way and than along came the little one and that was that. Gone,over forever.
Over the weekend, it was my brother's birthday party, we went to his friends place in North Sydney, And I watched people drink and take drugs whilst I had multiple cans of diet coke and watched people enjoy themselves, I love watching people when they are happy, and talking to each other, when everything around is calm and fun. It makes it so much more relaxing.
Any-way on of his friends went to the same school as "The Man" I asked him if he knew him, and he said yes, they know each other. He went on to ask me why, and I said no reason just wondering. Its a small world really, when I think about things like that, the fact that this person would be a mutual friend through my brother. Our paths might cross one day. That would be fate for sure if that ever were to happen. After a few drinks we went out to a bar called the sugarmill. I didn't stay too long though I started to get tired and "The boy" came home with me which was nice. He will never stop suprising me, I know that.
The next day, he had a call from his mother, she wants to give us a gift for when the baby comes,
she wont be able to make it when the baby is born so she wants to pay for a maternity nurse to live with us for 6 weeks and help with the baby.
Our apartment is so small, I am still not sure how I feel about it, or having someone I don't really know around. "The boy" Loves the idea! I love the idea of him and I doing thing's together and working together, rather than getting some-one else to do all of it for us.
We will see though, I would hate to be rude to his mother especially after all the thought that went in to it.
I haven't worked as much this week, and the little one has taken it upon itself to sit or lay on my ribcage! So painful.
All in all, this week has been good though. I will keep updating. Once again I have to say how good it is to be able to vent here, because I would go crazy if I couldn't talk about "The Boy" or "The Man" and its nice to know there's no judgements when you are writing for yourself :)

1 comment:

  1. hey... i have been out, so couldn't chk on ur posts.... hope u r doing ook.... and yeah , its a bttr way of venting then anything else... keep writing :)

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